Play without biting: teaching your kitten to play gently

Why kittens bite

A kitten that ambushes your ankles from behind a corner or grabs your hand with its teeth isn't being "naughty." To a kitten, play is hunting practice: track, stalk, pounce, grab. In the litter, kittens learn how hard is too hard by playing with their siblings and mother — bite too hard and the game stops. In your home, people have to take on that role.

While a kitten is small, its bites seem funny and hardly hurt. But the kitten will grow up, its teeth and claws will get bigger, and the habit of "hunting" hands will stay. That's why it's best to teach gentle play from day one.

Hands are not toys

This is the golden rule, and everyone in the family needs to follow it:

• don't play with your kitten using your fingers, hands or feet, however fun it seems;
• don't let it bite or scratch your hands, not even "gently";
• don't wiggle your hand under a blanket for it to hunt.

A kitten can't understand why chewing fingers was fine yesterday but not today. Consistency matters more than any technique.

The right toys

Give that hunting instinct a worthy target:

• wand and teaser toys are the best choice, because the toy on the end of the stick keeps your kitten at a distance from your hands;
• kicker toys — long, soft toys your kitten can hug with its front paws and kick with its back legs;
• balls and toys that roll away from you;
• puzzle toys with treats inside for solo play.

Munchkins especially love floor-level chases, so keep the wand low: hide the "prey" behind an armchair, then suddenly whisk it out into the open.

Toys with strings or elastic are for supervised play only. Put them away afterwards so your kitten can't get tangled or swallow the string: thread, ribbons and balls of wool can be very dangerous if swallowed.

How to play so there's less biting

Kittens bite most when they're bursting with energy. So don't wait for your kitten to find its own "prey" in the shape of your feet:

• play several times a day in short but active sessions;
• let your kitten "catch" the toy now and then — a hunt with no catch is frustrating;
• wind the game down gradually and offer a treat or a meal afterwards, so the "hunt" naturally ends with a "feast";
• if you use a laser pointer, switch to a wand toy at the end so your cat can catch something real.

What to do when your kitten bites

• Stop the game: freeze and don't jerk your hand away — sudden movement only excites it more.
• Calmly take your hand away and pause the interaction for a minute.
• Offer a toy instead of your hand.
• If your kitten is too worked up, give it time to cool down by leaving the room for a few minutes.

Don't shout, smack or spray water. Punishment doesn't teach a kitten to play more gently; it teaches it to fear people, and a frightened cat bites more.

When petting ends in a bite

Some cats enjoy being stroked at first and then suddenly bite. There are often warning signs beforehand: the tip of the tail twitches, the skin on the back ripples, the ears turn back, or the cat goes still or looks round at your hand. When you see these signs, stop stroking before your cat decides to say "enough" with its teeth. Short petting sessions that your cat starts itself are the best way to avoid these misunderstandings.

Keeping toys interesting

Toys lose their novelty quickly. Keep some of them hidden away and swap them every few days — after a break, an old toy will feel "new" again. Solo games such as treat puzzles or hunting for treats around the room help when you're busy, but they don't replace playing together.

Children and visitors

Explain the rules of play to children: only with a wand or a toy, no grabbing the kitten and no chasing it when it hides. Visitors should also know that nobody plays with the kitten using their hands. That way your kitten gets the same message from everyone.

When to get help

If the bites are getting harder, if hissing and fear appear, or if your cat's behavior changes suddenly for no obvious reason, have it checked by a vet: pain or feeling unwell can change behavior. After the examination, your vet can refer you to a feline behavior specialist if needed.

The takeaway

Kittens don't bite out of spite; they bite because they're learning to hunt. Don't play with your hands, give your kitten wands and toys, play regularly and calmly stop the game after a bite — and in time your kitten will learn to play gently.